I always try to write and then find I never feel like sharing. Maybe soon.

General ranting and randomness will start after this sentence has finished.

Lately, I've been feeling a little inadequate, I know I shouldn't but I am always comparing my self to others and feel a little put out. It just feels like I'll try to do something and it will fall flat.

Or I'll see someone else and they will be doing it ten times better. But then I will always have these constant inner battles were I have to convince myself that being better is relative to who is looking.

Is this completely confusing?

One of my friends posted a blog recently were she started writing about who she really is, I don't really know who I really am right now, and even if I did it would take a couple hundred hours to write, but I vaguely know how I'm feeling.

Right now, I feel like I don't have many friends, and I have no clue why. Well I kind of do, I'm kind of convinced that when I was born I wasn't born with the social gene that most were born with.

Like starting a conversation it should be simple right? But I always have no clue what to say. And when I do meet someone or lots of someones, I never have anything in common with them.
I talked about it with my sister recently, I was talking about how I can't talk with hardly any of my friends about serious things, and I'm not completely serious all the time, but it is a big part of me and she replied with

"Well Naomi, not many fifteen year old girls want to talk about serious things."

It's true though, their aren't many people my age who want to talk about religion or politics, and if they do they aren't really open minded, and I would rather not offend them.

You know, it's a little ridiculous that there are so many people in the world, yet it's so hard to meet someone who even kind of vaguely could get along with you. Most days I just figure I'm weird and go and read a book. 

I don't really know where this post is going now, my mind kind of just died, being awake at two in the morning when you should be sleeping because you have to get up the next morning and take two math finals, does that to a person.

Bah.

Anyways, if anyone knows of a local club for sort of slightly intelligent teenagers who are interested in things other than twilight, boys/girls, the mall, and texting, in the DFW area please tell me.

I'm sure that's likely.

Goodnight all,
Naomi

P.S. I get to go to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra in June and see Final Fantasy, I am really really excited.

P. P. S. Photos from a photoshoot I did recently in the next post.



 

I don't know what to do.

now I am a simply fantabulous mood. What a word..
Well it's not a word. But anyways, pictures for a happier mood.

 





I think that slowing down is a good idea.

This post is about three days late, but I have to keep my procrastination skills up to date. Translation I can't think of a better excuse.

Tuesday I had been dreading for quite some time, because my orthodontist, had said that I needed to go to an oral surgeon to get a tooth opened up so it could come down and live with the rest of happy teeth - well not those exact words. But you can just imagine my excitement.

Anyways, oral surgeons, are vastly overpriced (and evil), so my mom said that we would just wait a while to decide on what we wanted to do. I think at that moment I heard a hallelujah chorus somewhere in the distance.
But then my little ray of sunshine was completely obliterated when the doctor, said,

"Well, there is one thing we can do, either than an oral surgeon."

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that you get, when something disastrous is about to happen? I got that feeling the second those words came out of his mouth.

He then proceeded to explain to me, how they have a simple, painless (this is my incredulous look), way of doing it.

"Basically," he explained, "All we are going to do, is bring in this LASER and just slice your gum's up. Nice and easy."

He also mentioned that it would be free, which pretty much closed the deal for my mom.

Now, when I  think lasers, I imagine bright red lines of heat that can slice through your skin at any moment. I imagine laser beams that detect aliens, and alert you if there is an intruder in your house!

Having one of those in my mouth, was not my ideal situation. I already have about ten pounds of metal in my mouth did I really need mass weapons of torture invading as well?

Apparently I did.

The Tuesday that I had to go in, I would like to say that the sky was overcast with dark ominous clouds, and rain was pouring - to match my mood. Texas, however seems to mock you with it's weather, because the weather was a balmy seventy degrees, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, overall cheeriness.

Waiting is the worst part of it. When we got to the orthodontist, we had to wait a good twenty minutes. It's like waiting around for your ultimate demise! Or something dramatic like that.

The tools seemed to eye me menacingly as I trudged into the room, the perky nurse following. There stood the chair of doom.

Well, actually, it was quite comfy, and I almost fell asleep while I was waiting again.

 The doctor and nurse came in and they were all excited about getting to cut open my gum's, I can't exactly say I was enthusiastic, more of a "I think I might throw up" type thing. They laughed and talked good-naturedly with each other and then,

dun, dun, dun, (cue death march song)

They brought out the first tool for torture. Pretty much it made my mouth stay completely open, and I couldn't really speak, or move my mouth for that matter. Naturally this is when they start asking me questions.

"Can you feel this?" prods me with shiny instrument of terror.
"How do you feel?" how do you think?
"Are you having fun?" that is a rhetorical question, right?

Then, to further general, humiliation, they said that I would have to wear these sunglasses so my eyes wouldn't die if I looked at the laser beam (which i had no intention of doing considering it would probably put me under a trance)

This is where I give the doctors/nurses kudos though, because if I saw a kid like that, I would start hysterically laughing, possibly some rolling on the floor, and clutching of the stomach.

However, they kindly repressed their giggles, and started to assemble the laser.

How menacing does that sound?

One of the things I found out is that orthodontists are major geeks. All these people started filling into the room because they were just so excited about this revolutionary technique, and they got to watch it in action.

oh goody...

My mouth was nice and numb by then and the laser had been assembled, they were ready for action.
It's a bit unnerving having all these people crowding over your mouth, bright lights flaring directly into your eyes, in a compact room. I just stared at the ceiling, it's odd for me to look at their eyes.

It felt pretty much like a lot of heat, concentrated into one area. I really couldn't feel anything, but my mouth was pretty much smoking, and the smell of burnt gum's isn't to pleasant.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, they were SO excited, that they wanted to get "before and after pictures."
I successfully refrained from rolling my eyes, but it was a close call.

Long story short, I lived.







Barely.















---

In case you didn't figure this out, I was dramatizing it a lot.
It really wasn't that bad, I almost fell asleep.

Hope everyone in the internet world is doing dandy, I have to got write a report on genetics now, and take two test's, and other loveliness.